As Hannah begins to fall into a deep depression, she cries
out for help. In a communications class,
a teacher creates a complement assignment.
There was a bag for everyone in the class. Clay would put a picture of a bunny in Hannah’s
bag on a regular basis. She didn’t know
who it was, but it was important to her.
When Hannah turns Zach Dempsey down because she was afraid to let him
in, he begins taking her bunnies and compliments. She writes Zach a letter explaining to him
that she is breaking down and that the bunnies and compliments are important to
her. She needed them. Still, Zach continued to take them, and said
nothing about the letter. Hannah said
that she was drowning, and that no one would throw her a line. Zach was a good guy, he really liked
Hannah. He just didn’t know how to take
no for an answer because, “No,” isn’t something he was used to hearing. Hannah and Zach could have been a cute
couple, but by the time Zach got up the courage to try, Hannah was already too
hurt and afraid.
In the
present, Clay begins breaking down as well.
He hallucinates about people blaming him for her death. He
keys Zach’s car. He lashes out in the
hallway about how terrible the kids treat each other. When he realizes that the tapes are killing
him, he tries to give the tapes back to Tony.
He tells Tony that he was beginning to understand why Hannah did what
she did. He says it as if he understands
how messed up that is. He realizes that
Hannah just couldn’t handle the things that happened to her, and that some of
it didn’t even happen at all.
If you
have actually read any of my posts, it is pretty clear that my world is
crashing down around me. Not just now,
but it has been for practically my whole life.
From the time I was a very little girl, I have been sexually assaulted,
as Hannah was. However, I did not have a
healthy family or loving home life. In
fact, much of my sexual abuse was at home.
One traumatizing moment after another, I have had to wade through all the
garbage with nowhere to turn. So, why is
it that I am still here, but Hannah was not?
Resilience, the answer is resilience.
By the time my resilience was beginning to break down, I found
hope. I found Jesus. Even though my life is difficult right now,
even though I have PTSD and my mind is breaking, even though kids at the school
have done things to hurt my feelings, even though I have few friends there, I
have hope in Jesus. The world and the
ruler of this world have been trying to destroy me my entire life, but they
have been unsuccessful. Have there been
times when I was weak? Have there been
times when I fell apart momentarily? Of
course, I mean, I have PTSD, but even though I have been pressed on every side,
I have not been crushed or destroyed.
Hannah could have handled everything that was thrown at her, but she
gave up because she didn’t know how.
Although this is just a TV show, Daniel Janes was not, nor are any of
the other people that decide that the only way out is through suicide. There is hope. There is a way.
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