This last week has been both exciting and overwhelming. I love my new school and I am thrilled to see where this journey will take me. I am also overwhelmed at the size of the campus and the age of the students. This semester will be an exhilarating challenge that I intend to meet head on. I have already learned so much. The Growth Mindset that George Poole has been teaching me has set me on fire for the classroom and my home. I can not wait to implement this into my classroom, and I have already begun teaching it to my boys. I must admit, I have had a fixed mindset my entire life. Understanding that I am in charge of my knowledge just makes me want to learn more, read more, and experience more.
The boys have been a beautiful challenge this week. I will probably not be sharing their names on here, but my 13 year old is in that stage where he wants to be angry with me because he is 13, but he knows that I love him more than the whole world, so he can not be mad at me. We had one of those days today. :( I have so few years left with him. I pray every day that I am training him up in the way that he should go, and that I am setting a mighty and righteous example for him.
My middle son is 7. This is my sanctification incarnate. Bless him, he has a severe case of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). I have gone around the world trying to keep my children off of medication for the sake of keeping them in a nicely packaged box for their teachers, but this amazing little boy can not help himself. I finally caved when I found him crying on the floor behind the couch last year. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Everyone thinks I'm terrible." That moment was the end of my fight. All of the papers I had written on the dangers of ADHD medication crumbled before me at the sound of those words. His little mind has bloomed since we began the medication, but the journey has not been easy. There are side effects and bad days. Today was a difficult day. I spent almost an hour cleaning pen ink off of him with rubbing alcohol and cotton balls tonight. Tomorrow is another day. On the hard days, I remember that God made all things good, even little boys. I read an article about this on Facebook about a month ago. This understanding has helped me be more compassionate and patient. My little Pecan Pie has my heart.
My youngest is also my easiest. Considering the fact that his brothers have always taken more time than he has, he has learned to entertain himself. He is also my most responsible one. My biggest challenge with my Sweetness is remembering not to forget him in the chaos of the other two. He is always the first one up and the first to obey. I pray I do not leave him to himself too often. At the end of the year last year, he was the only one that did not get in trouble in school, so I planned a huge Special Day for him. In my house, Special Days are the days when one of my sons gets to be with me without the other two. We usually do something special, like get ice cream or stay up late with a movie and a treat. Some days we just go to the grocery store and get a pack of gum or candy before we leave. We have a very busy life.
My boys and I have survived so many difficult weeks, and we have rejoiced in so many wonderful weeks. This is life. There are ups and downs, good days and bad days. There are days that seem like everything is going wrong and the whole world is against you. There are also days that seem like you hold the whole world in your hands. Finding the balance in all of it is still a work in progress. Understanding that Jesus truly does hold the whole world in His hands makes it so much easier. The burden falls off of my shoulders and the air seems like it is a little easier to breath. At the end of the day, when I find myself at the foot of the throne, resting my head on Jesus' lap, and letting the world fall away, I remember that this is not my home. All of these trials will end. One day, I will be lifted on high, and I will find my rest in the New Jerusalem. Until then, I have work to do and boys to raise. When the morning comes, and all mercies are new, I will remember...
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - Jesus John 16:33
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